Enriching the Experience of Reconciliation

By Bishop Pfeifer, San Angelo Texas
(Reprinted here with permission.)

Pastoral letter for the 2006 Year of Reconciliation The main focus of this year of reconciliation for the Diocese of San Angelo is the wonderful sacrament of reconciliation and penance, commonly called the sacrament of confession. In this year I encourage all of our people to continue or to re-establish the practice of frequent confession, which not only forgives sins but fills us with God's mercy and strength to live good Christian lives. I offer you here a few helps and hints to better understand the sacrament of confession.

Confession and Human Needs

Each time we confess our sins, there is a special set of human needs - spiritual, moral, emotional and psychological – that are addressed. We are social beings, and we need another person to understand what we are feeling, to help us experience God's compassion.

The designated human person for celebrating this sacrament is the priest, who acts in Christ's name and is using the authority and power given by Christ to his church. On the very day of Jesus' resurrection, when he appeared to his disciples, he told them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, whose sins you retain are retained." Christ knew that we need other human beings to help us with the human feelings of guilt, sorrow and anxiety when we seek God's forgiveness of sins in confession.

What Jesus Does

At the same time, we need to remember that it is what Jesus does in the sacrament of confession that is the most important thing, and on this we need to focus the most when we confess. The examination of conscience, sorrow for sin, purpose of amendment and telling of the sins to a priest are indeed all important aspects of the sacrament. But to have a more positive and meaningful experience of the sacrament we need to remember what Jesus does. The one to whom we are confessing our sins is Christ, and it is our merciful Savior who died on the cross who extends his hands each time we confess to give us divine pardon and healing, to fill us with God's mercy, and to give us the strength to live good lives and to overcome sin and temptation.

Our experience of this sacrament will be greatly enriched if we think about the reconciliation that Christ gives us and not only about confession of sins, which is usually not easy for most people. Reconciliation names what is most important and what Jesus does in this sacrament. For this reason, the proper name given by the church for this sacramental experience is the sacrament of reconciliation and penance. The word reconciliation is rich in meaning and suggests the gift of God's forgiveness and the removal of the barriers we place in front of ourselves, our community and our God. Reconciliation means rebridging the gap between God and us and between ourselves and others. It also suggests the deep peace that comes from being brought back into harmony with God and with our sisters and brothers.

More Than "Breaking the Rules"

In the sacrament of confession our sins are forgiven. But sin is not merely about "breaking the rules." For the mature Christian, sin is understood in relation to love and breaking or weakening a loving relationship with our heavenly Father and Creator. Our compassionate God has an immense love for us and constantly wants to pour out mercy upon us even as we realize how often we have failed to return that love. Jesus, our loving and good shepherd who forgives our sins, constantly calls us to wholeness and maturity, reminding us that he came that we might have life and have it abundantly.

Yes, sin is more than just "breaking the rules." Sin is the failure to grow. Sin is the failure to respond to the love God has shown us in Christ Jesus, who gave his life to forgive our sins. For those who have cut themselves off from God and the church by what we call mortal sin, or serious and grave sin, and now wish to return to God's table of the Eucharist, the church offers the sacrament of confession to celebrate their homecoming. This is the only time when Catholics are required to celebrate the sacrament. But we celebrate reconciliation not merely because we have to, but because it is a sacrament, a sign and celebration of God pouring forth divine mercy by reconciling the world through Christ and by bringing peace for all people and all things.

Confession and the Prodigal Son

One of the most beautiful descriptions of what happens when we confess our sins is found in the heart-touching parable of the prodigal son as told by Christ. A splendid way to prepare for confession is to read over this parable as found in Luke's Gospel (15:11- 32). Parents need to read over this parable with their children as they prepare for confession and explain that at times we are all in some way the prodigal son or perhaps the older son of the parable, and we are all called to be like the merciful father who forgives the younger son of all his sins and wrongdoings. Let me share a few highlights with you from this parable.

The prodigal son made a crucial life decision. He chose a way of living that would break him off from his father and his family. He demanded that his father give him money that he had no right to, then he ran away from home, living a dissolute and sinful life, wasting all that had been given to him. He had not only left behind his father's table and love, he left behind what he was taught there. In contemporary terms, we would perhaps say he was an alienated, rebellious son, a runaway youth.

After the prodigal son had wasted all the gifts that had been given him by his father in sinful living and realized that he was no longer in the family circle, he was filled with hunger and slowly began to admit that he was mired in a pigpen where he sought food and mired in sin and guilt for his wrongdoings. It was first physical hunger that motivated him to return home to his father just as a "hired hand." But once the young man came to his senses, he made the decision to return home to his father where he hoped he would find food - and mercy and forgiveness. We read how the father ran to meet him, embraced him, loved him, forgave him, took him back as a son - not as a hired hand - brought him back to the family table and never mentioned his sins.

We Are the Prodigals

In the sacrament of confession, we are the prodigal sons and daughters who have already accepted the grace to admit our sin and to return to our heavenly Father, the merciful father of the parable, who is always willing and ready to forgive us, to welcome us with a loving embrace when we have strayed from home. When we humbly admit our guilt and are sorry and confess our sins, God embraces us in mercy and love as we celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation and pardon. The parable of the prodigal son is the most striking, powerful illustration of the human process that happens when we go to confession and celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation and of the theology that is contained in the sacramental ritual that celebrates the divine mercy and pardon that we receive because of the suffering, death and resurrection of Christ. God is not out to catch us in our sin, but is constantly reaching out and hanging on to us, embracing us in love in spite of our sins and always willing to forgive us. Confession of sin can only be sincere if it is preceded by humble examination of conscience.

Confession is actually the external expression of the internal transformation of conversion that happens in our hearts. Conversion is not a once-in-a-lifetime moment, but a continuous, ongoing, lifelong process which brings us ever closer to the holiness and love of God. Each time we go to confession, our moral experience of conversion prompts us to turn more and more toward God, because each conversion experience reveals God in a new loving manner.

As we humbly and sincerely confess our sins after admitting our guilt, we need to imagine in our minds the father of the parable of the prodigal son, our heavenly Father, rushing out to hug us, to embrace us, to forgive us and fill us with love and accept us even before we confess our sins. In this parable Jesus reveals to us a loving God who simply cannot not forgive.

Why Confess to a Priest

The question is often asked, Why confess my sins to a priest? Why not confess them directly to God, since God has already forgiven me anyway? From God's point of view, this simple answer is: There is no reason. But from our point of view, the answer is that as, human beings who do not live in minds' and thoughts alone, we need to externalize in a bodily way with words, signs and gestures what is in our minds and hearts. We need to seek, hear and feel forgiveness, not just think about it. We need other human beings to help us externalize what is within us and open our hearts before the Lord, which then puts confessors in a new light. They are best seen not as faceless and impersonal judges but as spiritual guides helping us with our guilt, sorrow and compassionately helping us to experience and receive the mercy of God in our lives.

God's merciful grace and good confessors often help people to find the peace and tranquility that people often seek from psychologists and psychiatrists. As mentioned earlier, confessors help us to deal with basic human needs that we experience as we struggle with sin and celebrate God's love and forgiveness.

The Other Figure in the Parable

There is another figure in the parable we are dealing with - the older brother - the older son who is not ready to forgive, forget and accept his younger brother back home. Perhaps at times some of the attitude or behavior of the older brother lurks in all of our hearts - we are not ready to forgive, we require more even than God. The older brother's problem is a universal one. It is tough for most of us to say, "I am sorry"; it is even tougher to say, "you are forgiven." And it is most difficult of all to say gracefully, "I accept your forgiveness." To be able to do that, we must be able to forgive ourselves. That, too, is what we celebrate in the sacrament of confession, reconciliation. The older son in the story would focus on the brother's sin and guilt and would not celebrate his return, forgiveness, even though his father pleaded. But we should always strive to have the attitude and heart of the merciful and forgiving father, who told the older son, "But now we must celebrate and rejoice because your brother was dead and has come back to life again; he was lost and has been found." This is what happens when we go to confession.